Albertus Angga

Sunday, January 3rd 2016
     In 17 years of my life, I haven't been putting a real effort into my school studies. I was told by many people around me that I'm smart. But I've been thinking a lot since I entered highschool, that was not the case. There is MANY people out there that is far more smarter than me. I've tried putting real effort into Informatics Olympiad by my own effort, but I wasn't able to truly give my all back then because I was just depending on my OWN effort and power as a human. I kept saying that I was going to depend on God's power back then, it was all for God's purpose in my life. But that was not the case! It was me pursuing achievement for pride in this life.  It was my own ambition. It was my mistake.. But, those 2 first years in high school was not in vain. Maybe yes, my achievement in olympiad world during my freshman and junior year in highschool was not bright, but I really realized that God is really working to fulfill His plan through my life. In those 2 years, I learned a lot about life. The me who was having such inferiority complex and always comparing my self to others, now have truly realized. No matter how hard I try to put real effort, I wasn't able to pursue achievement. I will not say such things like "i want a chance to redo things" anymore. If i had been given the chance to redo things, maybe yes that I would have succeeded in Olympiad and had bright achievement during my highschool years that I can brag about to others, but if it had been like that, then I would have said that it was because my own hard work and my effort, not by His grace and power. I'm sure that God don't want me to say things like that. I'm sure that God want me to stop pursuing achievement in this life. I'm sure that God was trying to make me realize that achievement is not everything in this life. No matter how many times I fell in the same hole, He was still there and giving me chance. But I had enough of that, I don't want to fall in the same hole anymore.
    That's why, before I will enter the last semester of my highschool life, I decided to look back what God has been working in my life in the past, in the present, and what He is preparing for me in the future, I decided to write something that I will remember forever that i who was nothing is currently changed to something. In the last semester of my highschool life, I want to do something extraordinary that will change my study life. I will start putting a real effort on my school studies, not by my own power this time, not by my ambition this time, but with His destiny that has been planned for my life. There are many great things that are waiting for me ahead in the future! I'm sure of it. I don't know what's going to happen from now on, whether it's getting the MEXT(Monbukagakusho) scholarship and continuing my study at Japan, or whether continuing my study at Fasilkom UI or Information Engineering @ITS, i don't know. But what I know is, what I have to do is giving my best from now on without worldly ambition, because it's just absurd hoping to receive the best from God without real effort and hard-work. Hard-work is required, but hard-working using my own power as human and hard-working using His graces are different. Where I'm going to be accepted is up to Him. Wherever I'm going to continue my study, I just want that is the place where God's purposes are there. The unchanging people don't have the right to speak about change. That's why I'm going to change. I'm going to make a real breakthrough in my life after 17 years of living. To me in the future, I don't know what's going to happen from now on, but no matter what's going to happen in the future, don't lose hope, don't loosen your connection with God, keep living strong, keep buiding your life more and more, and keep running in this life!